I wasn't planning on writing this post. The idea kind of just came to me. So I wrote it. I personally think that's the best kind of blog post. The spontaneous, I have no idea where this is going blog post. A bit like my life actually... although that's no problem to me!
Anyway, I've gone completely off track. I was going to do an updated 50 facts about me post. But then I was like Nah, there a bit odd school now, they don't really fit with the vibes I'm going for. Ya know what I mean, like? So in a pure gold, lightbulb style moment, I thought I would do a mental health version.
In a nutshell, this is basically 50 facts about my mental health. An odd concept, I know. But I think it works, kind of? Does it? Who knows? Don't know if you guys will actually find this interesting at all but it was kind of therapeutic for me, writing everything down. Maybe in the future instead of having to explain my mental health story each time to different people I can direct them to this post!
1. I currently battle with OCD, health anxiety, depression and emetophobia on a daily basis.
2. They all pretty much feed off each other, it's kind of like hell
3. My OCD started as a result of a build-up of extremely stressful events which all happened at once in my life
4. I've suffered from emetophobia and health anxiety for as long as I can remember
5. I've been diagnosed with OCD since June 2016
6. Although I've performed OCD compulsions and had intrusive thoughts ever since I was about seven or eight
7. As a young child, my OCD was centred around the fear of if the door was locked or if the smoke detector was on
8. I also used to keep my fingers crossed all the time in the fear that if I didn't something bad would happen
9. I've also battled with my weight and eating difficulties. Although never diagnosed, I know I was suffering from an eating disorder.
10. I've suffered from countless amount of panic attacks over the last few months
11. I've been on two types of antidepressants
12. I'm currently on 100mg of sertraline
13. As I write this ( on Christmas Day actually), I'm currently waiting for one to one CBT.
14. I've been waiting since October and can't believe the waiting list times
15. I've been on a group therapy course though for my OCD
16. Although helpful it wasn't successful
17. Since being diagnosed, I've written a fair few blog posts about mental health
18. I've also run a project on my blog called #SpeakUp where I let other people share their stories with mental illness
19. I now volunteer as a communications advisor for OCD youth. A charity set up by OCD action
20. I'm part of the YAP 2017 and oversee website, video and social media content
21. Since suffering from mental health issues I've experienced a lot of stigma and discrimination
22. Which has made me incredibly passionate about raising awareness and reducing the stigma that surrounds mental illness
23. I wish that being taught about mental health was a compulsory part of the education system in schools and colleges
24. I've had to contact Samaritans, and I'm not ashamed of that
25. I have written a lot of guest posts for other people about my mental health struggles. Which I've really enjoyed
26. I hope one day to spread awareness of mental health problems via video content
27. I've made so many friends through the mental health community on Twitter, who I love very dearly.
28. I've had some fantastic opportunities of working with authors to promote some amazing books about mental health.
29. Telling other people about my mental health struggles is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do
30. I'm lucky that I have an amazingly supportive group of teachers who understand and support me through every day
31. My mental illnesses stop me going out and doing the things I want to do
32. Mental illness has left me feeling very lonely and isolated
33. A day doesn't go by where I don't struggle with my mental health
34. Unfortunately, I've always had the predisposition to suffer from mental health struggles as my mum has also suffered from both OCD and depression
35. I'm confident about the future and my mental health though
36. I'm optimistic about starting CBT
37. I look forward to meeting the rest of the YAP and other bloggers at meet ups throughout the year
38. One day I would like to be able to come off antidepressants altogether
39. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm ill
40. But just like you wouldn't be ashamed of physical illness. I'm not ashamed of my mental illness
41. I hope I continue to reduce the stigma and spread awareness via my writing
42. My dream would be to appear TV to talk about mental illness further, to reach a bigger audience
43. One day I sincerely hope that there is no stigma around mental illness
44. I recognise that recovery is not a straight road.
45. But I'm prepared to fight and battle against the demons in my head
46. I won't let mental illness define me
47. I want to overcome OCD and all my other mental health struggles
48. I won't let OCD stand in my way of doing what I want forever
49. I believe I am strong
50. Just like I believe everyone reading this is strong and can overcome their demons too.
I hope you have enjoyed this post and learnt a little bit more about my mental health. If you want to do something similar to this, please do and send me links because I would love to have a good nose.