Friday 30 September 2016

An Open Letter To OCD

An Open Letter To OCD mental health mental wellbeing anxiety depression UK lifestyle blogger

Dear OCD,

Why are you even here? I never asked for you to be here? Can you go now, please? Pretty please? You're making my life a misery and I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of you. Your this big bad bully that never goes and this overcasting dark shadow which never leaves me alone. I don't want you here anymore.

What did I do to deserve you? Why do I deserve all this pain, discomfort and distress? Is it because I'm a bad person? Did I do something wrong? Is it genetics? Was I always going to have OCD? Is it innate? Was it me? Was I working too hard? Too much stress? But I thought it was the bullies? Why does the pain continue even though I haven't seen these horrible people in months?

You crept up on me silently with deafening consequences. You made me feel like nothing was wrong, but then I started to realise. I felt like I was going mad, insane, crazy. I didn't know what to do. You had this overwhelming ability something which I have not witnessed before. You had control over me, and I couldn't fight back. I had no hope. You made me weak. Weaker than I had ever felt before. I didn't know what to do.


Wednesday 28 September 2016

How To Deal With Stress | #SpeakUp

STRESS! Give me an S. T. R. E. S. S. What does it spell? STRESS! Yes, okay, I think I have gone mad? Maybe it's the stress! OMG, it's the stress! Don't talk to me about stress! Actually, do talk to me about stress! Not talking about stress, makes you more stressed, which adds to stress and OMG STRESS!!!!!!!

For this installment of the #SpeakUp series, the wonderful Ellen is going to be talking about stress and how to deal with stress. To be honest, I don't think this post could have come at a better time for me. I am so stressed right now. Starting college and doing three A levels requires an enormous amount of work and effort. Not only that, I have to run a blog and keep up to date with my social media, and if that's not enough, I suffer from multiple mental health problems which quite frankly makes me feel like I am drowning in my sweat, blood, and tears!

And you think I'm exaggerating? Okay, maybe I am a little bit but Christ oh mighty, Stress is just killing me! Even when you're organised, have all your beautiful multicoloured fine liners lined up, you can still feel like you are drowning. Luckily, Ellen, has it covered and is going to be sharing some fabulous tips to cope with stress levels! I hope you find them helpful; I know I certainly did!


Monday 26 September 2016

Why People Who Share Their Mental Illness Experiences Are NOT Attention Seeking

Why People Who Share Their Mental Illness Experiences Are NOT Attention Seeking mental health support advice help

When I decide to tweet, Snapchat or blog about anything to do with my mental health I want you to know it takes every ounce of courage to do so. When I really want to share how bad or good my days been, how's my mental health treating me or share one of my exposures with you, I think twice before sending it. That's a lie. I think a lot more about it than just twice. 

I want to be very transparent with you guys. At the end of the day my blogs a mental health blog amongst over things, but I'm not here to sugar coat life or to pretend it's all glitter and unicorns. Because it's not. Sometimes life gives you a tough time and just like you might do with a physical illness, you are just as entitled to share your mental health experiences/ challenges. If you want to of course. 

If I want to Snapchat about how low I'm feeling right now or if I send a tweet in an apparent state of despair it does not mean I am looking for attention. Far from it. Sometimes they are just a cry for help but other times I just want to perpetuate the reality of what suffering with mental illnesses can be like you can't always just cheer up or be happy. Just because I was fine an hour ago it doesn't mean that I'm faking it- that's just the unpredictably of mental illness. 


Friday 23 September 2016

Thoughts On Loneliness

Thoughts On Loneliness mental health mental illness blogger UK lifestyle

I am lonely and I am 17. Two words you don't expect to hear in the same sentence. Young people get lonely? I thought it was just old people who get lonely? Don't be silly- you will find someone one day, you won't be alone forever. 

Oh, I wish loneliness was that simple and straight forward. You see the thing is loneliness affects people of all ages, from all ethnic backgrounds, genders etc. Loneliness isn't exclusive to old people contrary to what most people think. No one is immune from being affected by loneliness at any stage of their life. 

Today I want to share with you why I accept my loneliness and how I come to terms with it. I want to talk to you about how it feels to be young and lonely. If you feel like you are going through a similar situation right now- I am always here to listen. Loneliness is one of the worst things you can ever possibly go through, I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.


Wednesday 21 September 2016

The Reality Of Self-Harm | #SpeakUp

You may remember Matti? She has already written a post for the #SpeakUp series, but she wanted to cover more than one topic, and because I was so impressed with her last post about anxiety and paranoia, which you can read Here, I couldn't really say no! I'm so proud of Matti for sharing not one but two personal stories of hers to help raise awareness for the #SpeakUp series. She's honestly so brave and deserves all the love and support. 

In today's #SpeakUp post, Matti is going to be talking about self-harm but in particular the reality of self-harm. How there is a lot more to self-harm than the stereotypical image of a teenager cutting their wrists. Self-Harm is serious. There are so many different ways of self-harming than just cutting, which Matti goes into during the post. People also have lots of different reasons for self-harming. I also have personal experience of self-harming, which is closely related to my OCD, which I don't really talk about much on my blog. Matti's post really spoke to me and helped me feel less alone; I hope it does the same for you if you have or are self-harming. 

It goes without saying that this post carries a massive trigger warning. Matti does go into detail about self-harming, so if you do think you will be negatively affected by reading this post, please don't carry on reading! If you need to talk to me about any mental health problems you are experiencing my emails and DMs are always open. 


Monday 19 September 2016

Why Acne Doesn't Define Me

Why Acne Doesn't Define Me beauty blogger UK  teenager lifestyle skincare spots zits

I've battled with shit skin for most of my life. Ever since I was a little baby, I had very sensitive skin and eczema. As a child, I came out in a rash every time I used a fancy bubble bath or bath bomb, which pretty much put Lush out of the question! Yes, I don't ever have the pleasure of going into a Lush shop and getting excited over the wide array of colorful and adorable looking bath bombs and shower gels *Sad face*

At the end of year six, I developed acne. Hello, puberty! Mainly based on my cheeks, a couple of spots here and there were annoying but never really affected my confidence that much. Let's just say, my interest in fashion, caring about my appearance hadn't really caught up with my body and all the changes that were happening inside it yet. I was marched off to boots, and my mother bought me a wide array of skincare products and face washes to control the spots. Spoiler alert- it didn't help!

And there we have the beginning of my seven years and counting battle against my acne. Over the years I have been teased about my acne, I've beaten myself up about it, I've hated it myself for it and let it rule my life. But over the very long and stressful seven years of battling with these little devils, I have learnt one thing. Acne does not define me. I am not just the spots on my face. If you can see past my acne, you will see that I am a very loving, understanding and slightly weird human being that is NOT dirty or contaminated. 


Friday 16 September 2016

The Importance Of Taking Lots Of Photos

The Importance Of Taking Lot's Of Photos blogger UK lifestyle blogging beauty memories

For as long as I can remember, even since I was a small child I loved taking photos. This passion for photography has never left me. I have collected many cameras throughout my childhood and adolescence all of which I have thoroughly enjoyed using and took many a photo with. I have always had this innate interest for documenting my life whether that be through video, photography or writing- which is probably why I enjoy blogging so much. 

There's something about photos. Something so extraordinary and mesmerising about them. They capture a place and time, frozen in the past but will be remembered forever. You may forget that family day trip out you had when you were seven but with the aid of a photo you can remember so much that without a photo you would never be able to do. Photos can bring back so many memories; both happy and sad memories. You may have been in a good place, or you may have been going through a hard time but with the aid of a photo, these memories can come back to life. 

I love photographs. Not just digital ones but film ones as well. There's something so special about having a printed out copy of a photo. The days when you used to go into Boots and get all your photos developed, from every, day trip or holiday. I'm not going to lie; we were one of those families- which have now left me with a lot of loose photographs which are currently just been stored in a plastic bag. And when I say a lot of photographs. I do mean A LOT! But I love every single one. They all have a really unique story to tell. 


Monday 12 September 2016

My Experience With Contacting Samaritans

My Experience With Contacting Samaritans  mental health illness troubles teenagers advice support help

In my ultimate directory of mental health and organisations post, which I shared on my blog a couple of months back, I mentioned that I had personally contacted Samaritans. Lot's of you congratulated me on being so brave, and some of you said that you wouldn't have the courage to do what I did. I want you to know about my experience, to hopefully reassure you that seeking help from an organisation like Samaritans does not make you weak. I am also going to be providing you with some factual information about the Samaritans, so if you want to get in contact with them but are scared for whatever reason, my post will hopefully help you out.

Okay, so what is the Samaritans? The Samaritans are a confidential charity that supports children and young people, with a wide range of problems and difficulties, which includes mental health and suicide. However, please note that; YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE SUICIDAL TO CONTACT SAMARITANS! I wasn't, and it's okay, they will listen to all your problems no matter how big or small they may seem.

In order to get in contact with Samaritans, you don't have to just ring them. You can email, visit one of their branches, text or even write a letter. Though if you feel like you are really struggling the best thing to do is ring them. They are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, so by ringing them you will get immediate help unlike if you send them an email, it will take them around 12 hours to reply.


Friday 9 September 2016

A Letter To My Younger Self

A Letter To My Younger Self kids children memories photos happy blogger UK lifestyle

I want to tell you something. I want you to know something Nicole. You were incredibly lucky and fortunate, but you didn't appreciate it. The good times have come and been and now your stuck in sinking sand. You fall further and further down each day into a bottomless pit of darkness and destruction.

The bad times will come, and they will hit you hard. You spent years upon years watching your loved ones around you struggle and crumble to helpless heaps on the hospital floor. It's now your turn. You won't be ready. It will hit you out of the blue. It's like the 5th of November; there are all these separate fireworks which together create something beautiful. In your case, these single fireworks are just bad events which individually don't cause much harm but when they go off in close concession they cause something destructive.

You are so beautiful, Nicole! But you didn't believe it. You were happy and healthy, but you let the voices in your head take hold. You developed an unhealthy relationship with food. You will get a buzz of energy every time you see the number on the scales go down a little bit more. The voice in your head is lying to you. You need to ignore this voice. Every time you run up the stairs, you will desperately try and feel the bones in your legs as a way of reassuring yourself you are beautiful just like the morbidly thin girls in the magazines. These are bad habits, which will be hard to break, but you will get out.


Wednesday 7 September 2016

Growing Up As a Young Disabled Person | #SpeakUp

You guys know, if you have been following my blog for a while and have been keeping up with the #SpeakUp posts you will know that I like to cover a wide range of subjects on my blog and with the help of you lovely lot, that is expanded even more. Often, the topics that are covered in the #SpeakUp series, I have had at least some personal experience of before. But for today's #SpeakUp post, that isn't the case at all! And you know what? I'm so okay with that!

For today's #SpeakUp post the lovely Shona ( a beauty, lifestyle and disability blogger) is going to be sharing her story with growing up as a young and disabled person. I cover mental health on my blog A LOT! You guys know that! But as unfortunate, I am to suffer from mental health problems, I have never had to deal with any kind of chronic pain or illness. On the contrary to Shona who battles every day with Marfan Syndrome which causes her extreme pain and distress. 

I know, this may seem bad of me to say but I guess I never really give people in wheelchairs a second thought, I don't think about all the pain they must be in or the simple things that must be so difficult for them such as accessibility that non-disabled people take for granted. But I am sure, it's not just me? Many of you, who are fortune enough to be active and fully abled bodied also don't think about the difficulties disabled people face? Shona really opened my eyes in this post to the reality of growing up as a young, disabled person, something I have never really thought of before. Despite all the pain, Shona remains positive and optimistic which is so inspirational. She's one brave, strong girl! Make sure you go and give her some love! 


Monday 5 September 2016

Why Taking Antidepressants Does NOT Make You Weak

Why Taking Antidepressants Does NOT Make You Weak mental health illness wellbeing depression OCD anxiety help advice

When you have a physical illness, you go to the doctor. When you have a mental illness, you go to the doctor. Right? Wrong! 1/4 people (which is around 450 million people- probably someone you know) suffers from a mental illness, but only 1/5 of those people take medication to balance out the chemicals and hormones inside their bodies and only 1/3 people go to a doctor to seek help when they are mentally ill!


Why? If we know something isn't right, if we know what we are feeling is abnormal, if we lose interest in the things we used to love, feel on edge on all the time, have out of control mood swings, having unwanted or intrusive thoughts and use compulsions to relief anxiety, feel sad, depressed, upset for days on end, feel worthless and hopeless or become to scared to leave our own house- why do we not talk about it? Why do we not go to a doctor? One little word;



Friday 2 September 2016

50 Things That Make Me Happy | The Positivity Project

50 Things That Make Me Happy smile blogger UK lifestyle beauty style

The world can be such a negative place at times. A place filled with illness, war, terrorism, hate and anger. It can be very easy to get caught up in this constant and consuming negativity. You really can't escape it, can you? Every time you go on Twitter or read the latest headlines we seem to be mourning the loss of hundreds of people or praying for another country. 

It's really, really sickening to think the world can be such a horrible place at times yet so beautiful at the same time. It can be very easy to let this constant stream of negativity in the news damage your own personal life and even your mental health. This is not okay. Although I can't bring an end to terrorism, war or cancer, me and my best chummy Hannah from fluorescent photographer have come up with a new little project to spread a bit of positivity and happiness. 

On the first Friday of each month, there will be a new post up on both mine and Hannah's blog for ' The Positivity Project' where we will be sharing all things positive, happy and fun to hopefully bring a smile to your face and brighten your day; even if it's just a little bit. We have got lots of ideas for the future but today we thought we would start with 50 things that make us happy! I hope you enjoy!

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