Friday 21 April 2017

Let's Talk About Confidence

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We all hear the phrase; Confidence comes with age. Let me tell you that is 100% correct. I've always been a bit of a shrinking violet. I've always been shy and lacked confidence. I was always told to put my hand up more in class and contribute more to group work, but I never had the courage to do that.

Throughout primary and most of secondary school I was shy, struggled with putting my hand up in class, hated group work and the thought of having to read work in front of the class filled me with dread and fear. As I've got older though that's changed. I now have more confidence to speak openly in class. I enjoy talking to my teachers and like doing group work with my friends.

Granted, I'm not the most confident person in the world. I don't like working with people that I don't know and standing up in front of a class and doing a presentation is still something that gives me butterflies but not to the extent that it once did when I was younger.

However, it's not just age that I think can boost your confidence. You may have seen if you follow me on social media that I have recently changed my hair colour. I only made a small change. Just bright pink, you know. Pretty natural... I LOVE it. It's made me so happy and confident. People tell me that they love it, that they would never be brave enough to dye their hair such a vibrant colour or they wish they had my confidence.

The thing is I'm not the most confident person in the world. You know that I struggle with quite complex mental health problems. My bright pink hair and colourful clothes, which I have also started wearing more often now act as a mask. Strangers can't see my mental health problems as an external problem. All they see is this person with bright pink hair and bright colours and therefore assume that I must be oozing with confidence.

Does that bother me? Funny enough, no. You know that saying, fake it to you make it? It's super cheesy, but if I think about it, I totally live my life by the saying. When someone turns their head and looks at you, you can think one of two things:

A. Omg, they hate what I'm wearing. They believe that it's awful. 


B. They love what I'm wearing. They admire my style and think I look great.

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Which one do you generally think? 9 times out of 10 it's probably A., But if you think about it, you don't actually know what that person is thinking. Why do we assume the worst? Isn't it better to think of the positives? Yeah, they may say something, a compliment or criticism but if they don't, we just don't know what they are thinking. I don't know about you, but I haven't mastered the talent of mind reading yet which is why I always go with option B.

Think of five strangers you saw today. Can you remember what they were wearing? Probably not. Maybe if you remember what some people were wearing are you going to still remember in 24 hours time? No, you won't. So if this is the case why do we think other people will be able to remember what we wore. They really can't. Which means all that time worrying what others think is pointless.

Humans are egocentric. We are all too caught up in our life's, problems and concerned about what we're wearing. We hardly take notice of those around us. If we do, it's soon replaced with another life problem thrown in our direction which preoccupies us. Worrying about others think of what your wearing, your hair or makeup is a complete waste of time.

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I know it sounds patronising, but as long as you are happy, that's the most important thing. Once you start to realise that worrying about what others think is not important, I guarantee that you will be more joyful, more confidence and more willing to try new styles. Who knows you may dye your hair bright pink and fall in love with it? It is possible. 

You no longer need to say to yourself that I am not confident enough or I wish I had your confidence because believe me once you realise those points I made above, you will understand that you are confident and you are special, you just need to let go of the worry and cultivate your own style. 

I hope you enjoyed this rambling post. I hope it made sense and you got at least something from it. I would love to know your thoughts on confidence in the comments, let me know if you have any tips or advice for those wanting to boost their confidence!

Thanks for reading, as always X

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