Monday, 23 October 2017

Don't Judge a Book Or a Person For That Matter By The Cover

Don't Judge a Book Or a Person For That Matter By The Cover mental health depression anxiety online hate blogger bullies trolls

I'm a bit of bookworm I have to admit. I love reading, and a massive part of my love for reading is choosing my next book. Nothing beats going into Waterstones and walking peacefully around the shelves studying the books as you go. Without fail, I'll pick up a few books for closer inspection. 

I'm guilty of choosing books because of their covers. Whether it's the colours used, the eye-catching images, the name or the brilliant reviews highlighted on the front. There I said it. However, I do make a conscious effort to buy books I've done research into whether that be through Goodreads, YouTube or even through word of month. I refuse to buy the books which look the best and neglect the unloved treasures on the shelves. 

Unfortunately, this blog post isn't really about books. Sad face. In my eyes, books are like people, which is why I use them as an analogy to describe human behaviour. You see for the most part we're a hugely judgmental society completely oblivious to it. Humans are like the books on the shelves. Often left for a constant game of who gets picked first to be part of the PE team in school. But they are also like the humans, choosing the best ones by simply what they see externally. Picking your mates for the sports team instead of people who have genuine talent. 


As a blogger, there is nowhere, where I witness just how judgemental society is more than on Twitter. Blogger drama. People can say what they want, how they want online. Often saying things they wouldn't even dare say outside the magical interwebs. I'll be the first to admit that I've been involved in blogging drama and LOVED it! 

Mindlessly tweeting along, afraid of missing out. Often not really knowing the full story. 

It's not till I was on the receiving end of blogger drama, that I realised just how damaging what I had done previously was. 

No one tells you what it feels like to have your words twisted and taken out of context. Bloggers joining in because they don't want to miss out. A quick flick through their timeline, they put two and two together and get five. 

Blogging drama often gets blown way out of proportion; starting as a snowflake which quickly spirals into a snowman. People judge; often too fast. No one takes a minute to actually listen to the person it is actually about. To read the full story. And going further than that, considering why someone might have said what they expressed in the first place.

Don't Judge a Book Or a Person For That Matter By The Cover mental health trolls online hate bullies

I don't want to condemn or justify anyone's behaviour. Everyone should be held accountable for their actions which aren't called for. However, sometimes there is a reason behind their actions which need to be taken into account. This is by no means an excuse for their behaviour but is worth bearing in mind before you start to call them every name under the sun. 

If someone has just realised a loved one has to go into hospital, they have just failed an exam they worked hard for, or they are having a bad mental health day. These are just a few reasons why someone might say something out of character. There is obviously more productive ways to deal with your problems and taking it out on someone else is not the way forward nor is saying unjust things. But nor is fighting fire with fire. 

Attacking people personally with equally if not worse words or behaviour doesn't make you a better person. There is always a reason behind someone's behaviour. You might not like that reason, but you have to acknowledge it. 

If people did this more often, I think society would be a much better place. Twitter especially the blogging community would be a nicer place to be and not full of constant animosity. Maybe it's all a load of wishful thinking on my part. But for something that takes less than 10 seconds to do, in my opinion, everyone could give it a go.

As I have got older and realised there are more important things in the world than blogging drama, I've started to step back and ignore it. Which is definitely benefiting me and my mental health.

However, if I feel like I do need to get involved. Maybe because it involves a close friend of mine, I'll make sure I will look into the FULL STORY before I go slagging people off and throwing words around willy-nilly.

Words can really hurt. Many don't realise the damage they can do with just 140 characters. If you wouldn't say it offline, don't say it online.

I would love to know your thoughts on the topic, in the comments down below.

Thanks for reading, as always X

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3 comments

  1. You are so right Nicole, I appreciate this post. And I am sorry you had to be at the other end and experience the hate for yourself, that is never fun and its not okay. I have always looked up to how resilient you are no matter the struggles you face. Keep doing you girl :)


    Nikki O.
    www.herdaringthoughts.blogspot.com

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  2. Social Media can be a wonderful thing however it also brings an anonymity that some use to hide behind and say something they would never say to someone's face. Everyone can have a bad day but we all have a responsibility to have a zero-tolerance for deliberately rude/hurtful/obnoxious postings by those who do it because they can.

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  3. Totally agree with you on this lovely. Online bullying needs to stop. People just get so caught up in situations and there's this gang mentality it's not nice! Thanks for sharing x x x Imogen

    imogenrose.co.uk

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