Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Young And Lonely | #SpeakUp

Young And Lonely | #SpeakUp loneliness teenagers social media bloggers lifestyle UK

This is probably going to be one of the hardest posts I will ever write! But the main aim of this #SpeakUp project was to raise awareness of the issues that affect young people's health and wellbeing. One of those topics is loneliness! If I sat here and compared myself to an 80-year-old, it's strange to think that one of the main things we would have in common is that we are both lonely. Although very much believed that loneliness affects only the old, it can actually affect all of us. At any age, in any stage of our lives, all for different reasons! It is a problem that is sweeping the nation and therefore really needs to be talked about more! 

It's common to believe that only the widowed get lonely. They look at pictures and realise they are the only ones left standing. Their friends, family all gone. This is a very stereotypical image of loneliness! Although still very profound within society, this isn't to say that there are no other causes of loneliness. I am 17 and sometimes consider myself lonely! Why?! Why on earth would I do that?! I am young and got my whole life to live, why would I ever consider calling myself lonely! Although the rise of the digital age, as brilliant as it is- will undoubtedly have impacts upon us. This media we call social is anything but- when we open our screens it's our room doors we shut! Why would you ever talk to anyone in real life, when a group message would do? 


As we become more immersed and captivated by our online world, we forget the people around us- we forget to live in the moment! What happened to the days when you actually would meet someone when now 140 characters do the job! although this gives a couple of minutes of relief, without physical, human contact the pain lives on!

When you have considered donating your body to scientific research because you don't want a funeral with nobody there, this that the signifier to suggest we have reached the breaking point! This continuous fear of living and dying alone cemented within are brains! But how does one simply meet anyone these days?! Excuse me for being pessimistic but I don't think I am ever going to drop my paperwork on the floor and I am going to fall in love with the man who helps me pick it up! Call me negative and critical but realism is important. I don't understand the social construct of dating apps nor do I ever see myself using one!

Apart from the obvious what causes loneliness? Old age is a given but is there anything else? Upbringing, academia & mental health are all culprits. Anything that secludes and isolates you is part of the problem! The cure for loneliness is something that can't simply be bought or made. It's innate and should not be nurtured. 

I know for one thing, if I wasn't part of  the blogging community, I would take my loneliness a lot worse. No one ever wants to say they have no friends in the fear of sounding weird, strange or some kind of cliche cartoon character but when it becomes reality- it can be hard to accept. I recognise everyone who comments and interacts with me online as a friend. And although friendship has many degrees and levels, I don't know what I would do without you lot!

Have you ever experienced loneliness?! How did it make you feel?! What do you do to help it? 
Let me know in the comments below! 

I would also love to see you in the Twitter chat on Thursday between 8-9pm where we will be discussing loneliness! Using the hashtag #SpeakUp

Hope to see you there! In the meanwhile thank you for reading, as always x  
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32 comments

  1. I'm so sorry young one that you are in this pickle. My daughter, my mother, my grandmother are and were all loners. I was as a teenager then in my twenties I don't know if a magic wand was waved over my head but I snapped out of it and became more assured, making friends as I went along. Feelings of loneliness are normal. You can feel lonely in a crowd of people. I met my husband on-line. When I found him he lived not three blocks away. We have been together ever since. I have no magic remedy for you sadly but I can tell you it can all change in the blink of an eye. Stand strong. xx

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    1. aw thank you very much for your kind words x

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  2. I think God can heal you if you dare to believe in supernatural. You can just ask for help. Some people do ask God to heal them from loneliness and then they receive a super natural power of joy and a warm feeling like Somebody is always with them. But you have to belive that and invite Him into your problem. Anyway! I wish you the best!

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  3. I'd never really been lonely until i got pregnant and announced it to my friends. Now, no one is there for me even though I had always been there for them through thick and thin. No one to turn to, no one to bitch with, no one to spend with my days laughing and joking. Of course i have family and my boyfriend there for me, and a little one on the way, but it would be nice to have friends, you know?

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    1. oh I know! Thats really sad to hear, at times like that you need your friends! I hope you found new friends that have stuck by you x

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  4. Such a great read. I actually feel lonely all the time now. My boyfriend has a new night shift job while I work day shift so i'm basically home alone every single day because like you, I really don't have any friends around here! It gets really tough some days! I think its great that you want to spread awareness to these types of topics because it really is something that affects most people.

    Renee | Lose the Road

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    1. aw thankyou! You will have to make the most of the time you do have with your boyfriend then x

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  5. This is such a honest post which I can completely relate to it! I have and still to do this often feel lonely because of a health condition and how it affects the way I live my live. It definitely has impacted on my life and I've sadly experienced loneliness due to this. I wish something could be done to stop people becoming lonely and I hope that over time there will be results. Thank-you so much for writing this and of course raising awareness-I really admire you for this!
    Best Wishes,
    The Hat Hippie xx

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    1. Thank you very much! That is so sad to hear, hopefully you found comfort in other things x

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  6. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through these feelings and having such a hard time. I am in my 50s and have gone through these feelings at many times in my life. It took me a long time to realize that I am really a loner at heart. But that doesn't mean that I don't feel lonely at times. I also find that I tend to withdraw from people because I am afraid that my sadness about being lonely will bring them down. It is a bit of a vicious cycle. I do find that finding things that I like to do by myself and having lots of hobbies helps a lot. I take myself out on date days and do special things just for myself. That way even if I am not spending time with other people, I am treating myself to positive and happy things. I am so glad you wrote this post...it took a lot of courage and made me realize that even if I am lonely...I am not alone in that, and that does make me feel better. I hope that you find things or ways to be more comfortable in your loneliness or ways out of it if that is what you need. My thoughts are with you. Cheers, Michele

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    1. aw thank you very much! I am sorry to hear that you have experienced loneliness! I think its really important to give yourself me time and go out on your own, if no one will go with you x

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  7. This post is so honest and I can relate to it so much!
    www.thepastelstyle.blogspot.com

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  8. This was a very thoughtful post with some really good points, thank you for it. Loneliness is indeed something almost anyone can experience no matter what age. In my studies I've even seen and heard very young children who feel lonely.
    I'm the type of person who doesn't really get bothered by being by myself. Infact I enjoy it. I believe that's called being an introvert. But being lonely means you often feel like you have nobody. And in particular nobody to talk to and tell things to. It's really difficult to recognise something like that in other people though.
    Thanks again for the great post. Hope you have a nice day :)
    Emma xxx

    www.wellemma.com

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    1. Thank you! I do enjoy alone time a lot, you get more down but I can't help thinking sometimes I would like some more company x

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  9. Some great points to get across here. I guess I was lonely when I was younger, I had no real friends, but I got through it by reading. For me the characters in the books were my friends ^_^ Can't wait for the #SpeakUp chat this week xx

    Sophie | ssophiespot.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. aw thats so good to see you found comfort in reading! I need to read more in summer i really enjoy it x

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  10. You have a lot of good points. Feeling lonely isn't a good feeling and it's the common nowadays. It's sad seeing so many young and older people interacting only in online world. Yes, technologies are good and all, but we shouldn't forget the outside world.
    I had moments when I felt absolutely alone and forgotten and it scared me. Don't get me wrong, I like being by myself sometimes, but nobody wants to end up being alone on their death day :)

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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    1. Yes, your last point you made is my feelings exactly

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  11. I think we all experience loneliness at different times in our lives, when you get older you'll realise that a lot of people actually do feel the same as you! I'm glad you find comfort in the blogging community.

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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    1. aw Thank you! Yes the blogging community is amazing x

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  12. I'm so familiar with loneliness that I almost can't imagine what it would be like to be with someone.

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  13. You're not alone in your loneliness (haha) no, but seriously, I have two real life friends and they are both going off to Uni in September. I find it is a lot harder to find friends if you don't like drinking/going out, as this seems to be where most people meet each other nowadays. I feel like I need to bring social media into my real life, by going to blogging meetups etc, so that it doesn't feel as distant. I can't wait for the Twitter chat tonight either! Xx

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    1. I feel the same way as you! I don't like going out much but really want to go to more blogger meet ups! I think they would help a lot x

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  14. I found it so reliving to read this post! It felt like a massive weight lifted from shoulders! Finally someone understands me. Finally someone 'gets' my anxieties! THANK YOU!x

    Check out my blog?
    I'm trying to blog everyday in half term?:)
    http://hannahporterx.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/fotd-golden-goddess-makeup-look.html

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    1. aw thank you! If you ever want to chat about it you can always send me a DM on twitter! I am all ears x

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  15. I think loneliness affects people at some point in their lives, people always think that only child = lonely child, which is not true in my case!

    Tash x
    www.skindeep247.blogspot.com

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    1. Yeah, aw I am glad you are not lonely! Being an only child I have got more lonely as I have got older x

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  16. This was such a great post and one I can relate to a lot!xxx
    www.heyitscassxo.blogspot.co.uk

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  17. The point you made about talking online instead of living in the moment relates so much to a post I wrote ages ago, heres the link if you would like to check it out. katielou99.blogspot.co.uk

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