Saturday, 11 June 2016

A Letter To My Future Self

A Letter To My Future Self thriftyvintagefashion blogger

 Hello Nicole, Howdy! Hi! Wasss up!!!

(Don't worry Nicole you were always mad, well I hope you are still mad) 

I have no idea how old you are when you are reading this. If you are reading this? OMG, what if your blog doesn't exist anymore? What if you stopped blogging? I hope you didn't stop blogging!

If your blog is still going, I wonder what your follower count is now? Not that it matters of course. You hit 900 followers on Bloglovin last month, which is A-MAZ-ING may I just add. I wonder what you are at now though 9000? 90000? Haha, I don't think so, but it's nice to dream.
I wonder what blog posts you have done since this post? Did you do all the ones you wanted on your never ending lists, in your very organised and efficient spreadsheets? Have you covered some of the topics that you have always been scared of? Oh please tell me you have! That would be great! 

Besides the blog, how are you, Nicole? How's life treating you? Your 17 when you wrote this. Actually on quite a significant day. You finished your last essay for your CACHE level 3 childcare and education course that you didn't want to carry on with. You start your A-levels in September! How were they? Did the risk pay off? Did you get the grades? But most importantly did you enjoy them? 

Are you at university? Have you finished uni? How was it? Was it as bad as you thought it would be? What are you studying? What's the dream now? Psychology? Sociology? Criminology? Mental health nursing? These were all what you were considering at the time of writing this. Do you have a job? That means you must have written a CV. At this point in your life Nicole, you haven't even written a CV! Ha!!

A Letter To My Future Self lifestyle blogger


More importantly Nicole, how's your mental health? How are you feeling? Have you have had a good or a bad day? What made you laugh today? I hope it was something very funny! Did you ever pluck up the courage to go to the doctor about your mental health worries? Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness? Are you receiving the care and support you need? Or are you still struggling? 

Are your hands any better? Do they still bleed? Do you still compulsively wash them? How about that fear of being sick? OMG HAVE YOU BEEN SICK?! Because you know your trouble with the thought of being sick? Was it okay? Are you still alive? What about their fear of physical contact and people and being touched by others? As it stopped you having meaningful relationships or are you happily married? Because at this point in your life Nicole, you haven't had a boyfriend, you have been on any dates, you have been kissed or had sex. In fact, you don't have many friends at all- I hope that has really changed for you! 

What about your other fears and intrusive thoughts? How are they doing? Still stopping you do what you want? Can you drive, did you ever even try and learn to drive? At the moment, it's something you hate yourself for but you just physically and mentally can't do it! What about alcohol and parties! Your fear of being sick stops you doing so many things. Have you ever managed to take a sip of an alcoholic beverage? What about having kids? Has that happened?

A Letter To My Future Self blogging teenager notebook


It may sound strange, but at the moment, your anxiety seems to be fixated on medical problems. You fear every single day you have some kind of medical problem. Or someone you love has died. Has this really happened? Or was that just hours flicking through the NHS websites wasted?

What about your other fears? Burglary, your house being burnt down or contracting a deadly disease? Please tell me you got help, Nicole. Not just for your sake but the sake of those around you!

Above all this Nicole, I hope that you are happy. Cheesy I know! Whatever you are doing, whether that be running a successful blog, training to be a psychologist or investigating murders- I hope you enjoy what you are doing. I hope you still have passion, drive and motivation. Your individuality that makes you, YOU! You are not ashamed to be who you are- different from everyone else! 

All the best, 

Nicole 

(PS: a few last things: how on earth did your parents find out about your blog, that must have been awkward. Also, did you ever manage to share a bathroom at uni, at the moment it's your worst fear)

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39 comments

  1. I really really respect you for sharing this Nicole! I feel like you were so open in this letter & talked about quite a few personal things - I'm actually really proud of you for having the courage to do this. I hope you'll be able to face your fears & overcome them, I hope you'll find a job & people that make you happy, I hope you'll accept yourself for who you are & most of all I hope that once you look back on this post you're living the life you're imagining now. You'll always have my support x

    Sara / AboutLittleThiings

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Sara! Yes, it did take a lot of courage to post this but I wanted to do it so one day I can hopefully look back at this time in my life and see how far I have come x

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  2. Really love this post! It's so personal and open! Really refreshing x

    Bethany / www.bethanyashley.com

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  3. I feel so proud of you for sharing this, I saw your tweet about it being personal and having it read it it must've taken a lot of courage to post this. I've several posts about letters to younger selves, but it's so refreshing to read a letter to your future self. Fingers crossed you'll be able to get the help you need and be happy

    Emily x | emilyclairewrites.com

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  4. I'd love to try this, what a fab idea!

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  5. Aww this is so great! I honestly LOVE that you focused on mental health and things that you think would make you happy rather than saying 'oh I hope I have this or that job and earn this or that'! I sincerely hope you can manage to work through your fear of being sick, and I'm sure you'll manage to accomplish all of these things <3

    theamandaway.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much Amanda! I hope I do too one day! I know it will take a lot but hopefully I will get there one day x

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  6. I love this post! It speaks to me so much, I love the idea of it all and I may even do one myself.
    Hope you have a good day!
    Róisín
    totallyro.blogspot.ie

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  7. This is such an amazing idea! I wrote a letter to myself to open at the end of year 11 a few months ago but I would never have the confidence to put it on my blog, so I really admire that you did that! The sick part made me chuckle because I have a phobia of sick too and I thought I was the only one! I hope you are happy and content as your future self when you read this again! x

    Erin // Everything Erin

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    1. You are definitely not the only lovely, you will be surprised how common it really is x

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  8. Honestly, this is one of the best posts I've ever read! Your honesty is something that I really appreciate and admire and it makes me so proud to be able to call you a friend of mine. I too have a phobia of sick, so it's reassuring to know that I'm not completely insane! Huge well done for being so genuine and true to yourself when writing this Nicole. It must have taken such courage. LOVE YOU! <3 xx

    Jade | Simply Jadey

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    1. aw thanks so much Jade! I love you too x

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  9. I loved this so much <3
    Katie xx
    Katieswaytohappy.blogspot.co.uk
    (I look forward to T O E!)

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    1. Thank you so much and yes definitely I can't wait to get stuck in with TOE! X

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  10. This was such an interesting post to read, thank you for sharing! I bet this'll be so wonderful for you to look back on in years to come. P.S. Hi future Nicole! x

    Kathryn | Chapters of Kat

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  11. This is a beautiful post! So personal and heartwarming.
    I hope you can look at this one day and know you've achieved the things you hoped and your health is good.
    As cheesy as it sounds, this really has me thinking about my future...so I thank you for making me think about it and hopefully doing something about it :)

    Sarah xo // See The Stars

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    1. aw thank you! I thought a lot about my future while writing but also after I had done this post too x

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  12. Loved reading this. Please check out my latest Nail Problems beauty post.

    Kisses xo | From Aliona With Love

    Instagram @alionawithlove

    Twitter @alionawithlove

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  13. I loved this!! So brave for writing this. It also made me feel better because I also have a pretty big fear of getting sick so this made me feel less alone.

    Lee - leethrifts.com

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    1. aw I am thinking about doing a post about my fear of being sick because it seems a lot of people have it x

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  14. This was so interesting to read! It must have taken a lot of courage to post some of the things about you which you did, but I respect you for that, well done! I definitely love the idea of doing this post!
    Cloe X clxelouise.blogspot.fr

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    1. Thank you! You should give it a go x

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  15. I loved reading this post Nicole, you were so brave to upload it xx
    www.blossomofhope.blogspot.com

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  16. This post was so wonderfully brave of you Nicole! It took a lot of strength to post this and I hope you know how much you've helped people by sharing it!

    Sending love to you!
    Jess xx

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    1. aw thank you so much! i hope I have x

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  17. lovely post. It takes a lot of balls to write about things like and I think your future self will want to high five you for being brave enough to address your fears head on

    Hannah xx
    Raspberry Kitsch | UK Fashion & Lifestyle Blog

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    1. haha! Thank you so much! Lets hope so x

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  18. This post is so sweet, I loved it! Oh and a message to future Nicole, I hope we are still blogging and still friends when ever you look at this in the future ^_^

    Sophie xx

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  19. This was so lovely to read Nicole! I actually wrote one of these letters a couple of years ago, it's still sat in my bedroom waiting to be opened, still got a few more years, but I can't wait to open it and read it.

    www.wheresmylipstick.com

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    1. aww! I bet it's going to be so good to look back on! xx

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  20. Hello!! I'am glad to read the whole content of this blog and am very excited.Thank you.
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