Friday 18 September 2015

21 Thoughts We All Have When browsing Instagram

I used to be obsessed with Instagram, now not so much! I kind of feel its getting a bit dull, repetitive and boring. I practically feel like 80% of the accounts that I follow just post the same old stuff as each other. This isn't a rant, by the way though I know I am coming across that way. So I am going to get off my soap box and give you a run down of 21 thoughts that I think and I know you do too, when browsing Instagram!

21 Thoughts We All Have When browsing Instagram

#1 " OMG Yes, New comment! My followers are so kind and caring" * Clicks on new comment*  'F4F' " EURGH!!!!" * Starts banging head against any hard surface I can find* " Don't people understand that 'f4f' thing was so 2012. Move on with your life!

#2 OMG that feed is so pretty! I could total recreate a pink and white, pastel theme. * Sticks white paper up to create a classic background to cover hideous * insert colour of choice here* wallpaper " Why won't it work?" " Why do my photos look so pants compared to everyone else  

#3 Gets photo ready to post, * Starts having a staring contest with clock, to make sure that I post at exactly the time I posted yesterday * * Clicks post* FAILED TO UPLOAD! " WHAT NO?!" * Starts smashing phone on the ground*

#4 #bbloggers #lbloggers #beauty #makeup #life #hashtag #nolife #Ihaverunoutofhastags " How many hashtags is an unexpectable amount again?!"

#5 " YES, my latest photo is seriously good quality" * posts and sees it on timeline* " Why Instagram?! Why do you have to completely ruin all the photos that I ever post "

#6 * Sees a stunning holiday photo of some foreign tropical island* * Looks outside at the it completely chucking it down with rain and realises you are snuggling a blanket and a hot water bottle and it's actually the middle of August* " Why the hell do I live in England" SERIOUSLY?!

#7 * Scrolls down feed, to see mouth watering snaps of delicious gourmet meals* * Looks down at own plate to see a handful of kids smiley faces and chicken nuggets* " I could totally do that gourmet meal thing! Yeah Totally! "

#8 * Turns Instagram on a Sunday morning to see all the fun party photos from last night* " Why am I so boring and antisocial?! * Then realises you promptly went to bed at 10 last night *

#9 " I mustn't like any of their photos! I mustn't like any of their photos! They must not know that I was stalking their feed! * Likes photos" AHHHHHH! * BURN PHONE, SET IT ON FIRE, FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET, NO NO NO! *

#10 * Posts photo* Keeps clicking refresh until someone likes it! " Few it gets at least one like*

#11 * New product got released this week* " Omg there is that new book by that Youtuber" * scrolls* " Oh look there it is again" " And again" " Oh look and again"

#12 " New competition! I must totally enter that, wait it's going to mess my feed up. When does it run out? Next Monday, okay I will post it an hour or two before it closes" * Next day* DAMMIT! I FORGOT, I'm such a bad human being! "

#13 " I wonder what filter I should use today? I want to try out a new filter. No, forget it, I will just use Valencia just like on every other photo. Why are any of the others even there anyway?! Does anyone actually use ' HEFE'  

#14 " I love everyone's captions, they are so sassy, I am definitely going to try and do sassy captions" * Tries sassy caption*" Nope my sass attempt failed miserably" 

#15 Photography goals.. photography goals

#16 " That Mac lipstick is so pretty!" " Omg that new naked palette is stunning" " I am so going to pick up that new blush!" " Oh yeah, I can't, because I have no money, never mind, back to living of 25p noodles!"

#17 * Starts to play virtual kerplunk with the brightness settings for my new photo*

#18 * Clicks video* " Why is there no bloody sound?!" * Pulls headphones out and clicks the video. Sound blares out into a quiet area, everyone turns around and gives you the death stare* Frantically tires to put headphones back in.*

#19 " No I don't want a goal helper, No I don't want to be involved in your game and No I don't need a 'minion' Please leave me alone!

#20 " OMG, I have a DM, someone actually wants to talk to me" *Will you subscribe to my YouTube?* " NEVER MIND!"

#21 * Goes to photos you are tagged in... None!* " Forever Alone!"

Thanks for reading!

 I hope you guys enjoyed this post, It's something new and different that I don't usually do. Please tell me you can relate to some of these things and it's not just me!



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